It’s Time to Dock

 

I’m guarded like I’m wounded, my first instinct’s always run.    ~The Wonder Years

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Drop the anchor it’s time to dock.
A fury of delight as I step off the boat for the first time in months.
Finally my head is clear and the thoughts of joy are back.
With anxiety on the run it’s time to celebrate.

What do you believe?
What is it that overtakes the very nature of your being?
Do you believe that we can be healed?
Do you believe that God truly forgives?

Jumping off the boat and knowing that my true life is in my Maker’s arms.
Knowing that mistakes are going to happen.
For I am not okay.
And I never will be.

Nobody will be fine.
Nobody will be able to fully understand the glory that God left behind.
All we can do is seek, and try our best to understand.
All we can do is seek, and try our best to not eff up by losing our focus in the fray.

Until the day of redemption comes.
The day the trumpets declare the coming of my Lord.
Until that day and none before.
I will never truly be okay.

Sometimes what you are feeling betrays you.
Sometimes it is the loneliness of God.
And other times it is your other half effing you over for a chance to kill off the good.
Usually it’s that one.

But the boat is docked.
Shore leave is upon me.
Let me take what I learned and make it into something beautiful.
Take my mistakes and make them a prayer for the damned.

Drop the anchor it’s time to dock.
A fury of delight as I step off the boat for the first time in months.
Finally my head is clear and the thoughts of joy are back.
With anxiety on the run it’s time to celebrate.

So take a drink and drop it back.
Make a toast to the damned, the broken, the lame.
The people that make mistakes, the imperfect.
And let this toast be for my Maker, the God that saved this messy, wretched man.