Tag Archives: thoughts

I Tried and I Failed (Participation Trophy)

“I’ll fantasize of being manic and leaving us behind. In your eyes, you were the one that tried. Acceptance is what holds us here. Then you my dear are the one I fear tonight.  We’ll try this one more time.” ~Underoath

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He asks questions he thinks deserves to be answered.
Integrating compassion into entropy.
Taking shots at people who would be better off longing for more.
And lacking the maturity to ask questions that may make a semblance of sense.

She walks through life with a splint in her personality.
Happy and sad inhabit the same space.
Depression is a welcoming change of pace.
And lacking the steam to press on when she has a minuscule amount of joy.

Together they form the modern entitlement.
Equal parts apathy and laziness.
Hoping to be discovered from a singular occurrence.
Stepping to the left because it is easier than stepping to the right.

Or maybe the right seems like an easier choice.
I don’t think it matters to the modern consumer.
Where taking it easy looks like the way I am supposed to be.
Instead of failing and learning and not getting that participation trophy.

Not to diminish hard times and face to face lies.
Not to say we are not all a bit lowly.
But today it is easier to wait than try.
When they tell you that it is okay to be not okay.

When hope is diminished to a flame hidden.
And the lights from peoples eyes die so quickly.
The hopeless have better questions than the believer.
When we fight and die in the name of being tolerant to my fellow man.

Just go out and work hard.
Go out and love your fellow man.
Find out who your are and die fighting for it.
Instead of sitting down waiting to be discovered by lying over indulgent agencies..

I don’t want your participation trophy.
I want to earn my rewards, my accomplishments, my chance to have hope and be free.
I don’t care what you think of me.
I choose to carry on and I strive to love despite all the times I wanted to flee.

At least I tried.
Not for a trophy, or for an award.
But to be a better version of who I once was.
To do better and to do good.
To be someone that I always knew I could.

Step One…Choose

“Take me up, seal the door. I don’t want to march here anymore. I realize that this line is dead, so I’ll follow you instead.”  ~Twenty One Pilots

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It begins with an action.
It ends with a thought.
The least of all it could be switched up.
Maybe it would lead to better outcomes.
Quick glances and forgotten smiles pass our lips.
Close and not together.
And the answer could be in either the thought or the action.
Depending on which comes first.
It begins with a smile.
It ends with confusion.
Do we cast ourselves with the net,
Or do we go out and try and swim?
The grandeur that is life is not as big as we think.
It is small and the connections are strong.
And as the start approaches, lives may be changed.
Minds molded by singular events that may not seem noteworthy.
These minuscule events combine into  fleshed out ideas.
These ideas are used for good or for bad.
Maybe there is a gray area thrown in their for kicks and giggles.
But we stand and we fall and we get back up again…most of us.
We could divulge into thoughts with no actions to be seen.
But we are all still in a band.
All of us have a place, but some choose not to play.
And I say, play whether or not it sounds correct.
It is better to play than to sit their wondering if it is okay.
We all need each other.
And even if the awkward is the normal for your life today,
Go forth and play anyway.
A glance and a smile doesn’t seem so bad.
But I will tell you it all comes down to context.
I choose to play the game, the note…
Whether it is correct or not.
I begin everyday with a thought.
While other days it is with an action.
Roll over, open eyes, and continue breathing.
Press forward and pray that God will show you the way.
Step One…choose.