Do you ever take a look back.
Back in time to see the ones that loved you,
The ones that wronged you,
Or maybe the ones that should have gotten more attention?
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you went right instead of left,
Took that train instead of taking the other,
Gone back to the girl that smiled when you passed by,
Or jumped up instead of ducking?
I think that we all have times when we reflect a little too much.
Where we don’t hesitate to establish a connection to the past.
Or when we take a deep dive into what if…?
But I think that periodic trips are more useful than dwelling.
For your home is what you have right now.
The hearth is the heart that beats at the present.
It is not the dusty mantle where childhood pictures are toppled,
Or the open door to the portraits made from past regrets.
Do you ever enter into the future to check the past?
What about the present,
Is it too much to ask for a reprieve from where we are now?
Is your home as warm as it was before?
Do you ever take a look back?
Do you take a vacation to better times?
Do you regret the moment you didn’t take your life?
Is it hard to steer away from prior heartbreaks and spilled milk?
You are here right now, alive and beautiful.
Your home can be rebuilt.
Do you ever look back?
I sure do.
I believe that we all sometimes need to.
At least that is the case for me.
Do you ever look back?
Do you look for the now?
Do you look ahead?
Which one looks better to you?
“My heartbeat, my oxygen, my banner, my home, my future, my song, your hope is the anthem of my soul.” ~Switchfoot
There is more to now than what is coming next.
Or what happened before the moment.
But we dwell on such things instead of wondering what is happening at this present moment.
Answering the questions of the past to try and determine our futures.
It is not wrong to think ahead, or learn from the past.
I encourage it daily.
The problem is sometimes we put more stock into who we are…
And forget to see where we’re at.
The person I am now is not the same as the one before.
Maybe I grew up, maybe I went backwards.
All I know is I am here and I am alive.
I am holding onto the hope that was placed upon my heart.
When I think to hard about what my mind used to call home,
I reject all the good that has happened since.
I retreat to a mindset that I have no desire to revisit.
I am not that person anymore and I need to leave the past where it belongs.
When I try to see passed the next five minutes, I start to see what I have not done.
“I have failed.” I say.
“Why am I single, why is no one there by my side?”
But God has a plan, and right now is where He wants me to be at.
I put too much stock into what I have not done.
I put too much stock into who I have been.
I should be happy with the now.
Happy with the man God has currently shaped me to be.
Thoughts brought on by reality.
Togetherness equals strength.
Family is more than an emotional crutch.
And hope is the desire of the past to the present, and to the future of all that I will do.
“Wake up in the middle of the night. Just don’t believe everything’s all right when thoughts are running around your head.” ~Emery
He stands at the end of his rope, hoping for a tug to get him back on the edge.
Answering a call and checking the voice twice.
Is it true the person on the other line is me?
Or is he deciding to treat it as a way to escape being free?
Extinguishing the hope that shrouds his soul.
Taking the next best thing that never was an answer.
Accepting the end as his own personal heaven.
Instead of reflecting and taking it a bit slower.
Screwing what he knows to be the truth.
Twisting my every word into the next big controversy.
Enlightening his target audience to the staleness of his life.
He is the one that hates the way things turned out.
But they would not have been that way if he just paid attention.
He was stuck in his own bubble.
Waiting for someone to come and pop it.
When he should have escaped by himself.
A man not squander his potential in pursuit of another.
A man should not let himself implode and create a barrier pushing others away.
A prayer that enters in and changes the way you perceive the worlds color.
Become the man that you were meant to be.
And do not let the past decide who you are today.