Category Archives: present

Do You Ever Look Back?

Do you ever take a look back.
Back in time to see the ones that loved you,
The ones that wronged you,
Or maybe the ones that should have gotten more attention?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you went right instead of left,
Took that train instead of taking the other,
Gone back to the girl that smiled when you passed by,
Or jumped up instead of ducking?

I think that we all have times when we reflect a little too much.
Where we don’t hesitate to establish a connection to the past.
Or when we take a deep dive into what if…?
But I think that periodic trips are more useful than dwelling.

For your home is what you have right now.
The hearth is the heart that beats at the present.
It is not the dusty mantle where childhood pictures are toppled,
Or the open door to the portraits made from past regrets.

Do you ever enter into the future to check the past?
What about the present,
Is it too much to ask for a reprieve from where we are now?
Is your home as warm as it was before?

Do you ever take a look back?
Do you take a vacation to better times?
Do you regret the moment you didn’t take your life?
Is it hard to steer away from prior heartbreaks and spilled milk?

Take heart.
You are here right now, alive and beautiful.
Take heart.
Your home can be rebuilt.

Do you ever look back?
I sure do.
I believe that we all sometimes need to.
At least that is the case for me.

Do you ever look back?
Do you look for the now?
Do you look ahead?
Which one looks better to you?

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A Dwelling Place

“My heartbeat, my oxygen, my banner, my home, my future, my song, your hope is the anthem of my soul.” ~Switchfoot

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There is more to now than what is coming next.
Or what happened before the moment.
But we dwell on such things instead of wondering what is happening at this present moment.
Answering the questions of the past to try and determine our futures.

It is not wrong to think ahead, or learn from the past.
I encourage it daily.
The problem is sometimes we put more stock into who we are…
And forget to see where we’re at.

The person I am now is not the same as the one before.
Maybe I grew up, maybe I went backwards.
All I know is I am here and I am alive.
I am holding onto the hope that was placed upon my heart.

When I think to hard about what my mind used to call home,
I reject all the good that has happened since.
I retreat to a mindset that I have no desire to revisit.
I am not that person anymore and I need to leave the past where it belongs.

When I try to see passed the next five minutes, I start to see what I have not done.
“I have failed.” I say.
“Why am I single, why is no one there by my side?”
But God has a plan, and right now is where He wants me to be at.

I put too much stock into what I have not done.
I put too much stock into who I have been.
I should be happy with the now.
Happy with the man God has currently shaped me to be.

Thoughts brought on by reality.
Togetherness equals strength.
Family is more than an emotional crutch.
And hope is the desire of the past to the present, and to the future of all that I will do.

Please Listen

“I wanna know what it’s like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent.”  ~Motion City Soundtrack

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I actually decided to die today.
"Please don't be so dramatic."
"You have so much to live for"
People please, you are so unaware of what I mean. 

A tear down and a build up.
A knowledge that what I was doing is not working anymore.
I decided to die today.
And I believe it will be a very good day.

"Your life is worth it don't do it!" They say.
But I don't think you are listening to what I am saying.
Because I decided to die today.
So let me have this one.

To spell it out for you... I decided to die today.
A death to the life that never treated me well.
One that is changed into a new way of thinking.
Going about temptation with a new form.

Not one full of tunnel vision blockers.
Not one full of disarray. 
But one that justifies and glorifies the hope that's inside.
Because if I don't die today, I will never learn to be alive.
I will never learn how to be okay.

Tomorrow Gets Me Through the Past

“They left us alone, the kids in the dark to burn out forever, or light up a spark. We come together state of the art. We’ll never surrender, the kids in the dark. So let the world sing, ‘What a shame beautiful scars on critical veins. ‘Come together state of the art. We’ll never surrender. “

                                                                                                                                                   ~ All Time Low



~ Tomorrow Gets Me Through the Past ~

Tomorrow equals new experiences.
Tomorrow    IS the narrow versus the Broad.
Tomorrow   IS a choice That reinvents Itself as the events Get Closer.
Tomorrow   IS Always in the Now, so Get up and Dance.

A smile filling my eyes as I learn to discover rather than cower.
A moment of jubilee when I find out that change is not as bad as it seems.
More of this and that.
And less of that and this.

For tomorrow  IS the Day That starts yesterday.  
Finding out that fear is no longer part of my arsenal.
That time when it is okay to wander and not find anything at all.
Tomorrow   IS Never Alone and today IS filled with Sparks.

A smile filling my face as I learn to drive and not let go.
A smile that tells me that running away is not the answer.
A moment of jubilee when I realize that letting go is just another part of the day.
For letting go is a double edged sword used for the good and for the tarnished.

Tomorrow   Divides into three.
The past, present, and the future.
All rolled into one caring moment where the choice is made.
As I run and not let myself equal the impossible.

Even though I miss and I mourn.
Even as I am filled with sadness that I will not get to see them.
I know they are safe.
I know that life takes a strange path to find an answer that was always there.

Here I go weeping for joy.
Here I go dancing this day into the next.
Here I go taking in feeling and using it for good.
Here I Go looking for tomorrow  Which IS just like looking for today.  

Tomorrow  equals new experiences.
Tomorrow   IS the path less Traveled and more Traveled by others.
Tomorrow   IS missing the ones I hold Dearest.
But for now I tell you I love you.

I love you more than you know.
But we know, that we are never not together.
Because tomorrow  IS where the memories and the Present collide to form the new and exciting.  
Tomorrow  IS a lways in the Past and the Now.

So get up and dance to the new.
Dance to the present, and the past.
So get up and dance to the undecided.
Because we all know that the meaning will be with us and reveal itself when our eyes stop looking.  

But please do not stop looking at the same stars.
Or even the same sun and moon.
For even if the sun is a star.
It is the one that will truly guide me home.