Category Archives: point of view

Lock and Key

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Sometimes I wonder if it would be better not to live forever.
When death finally takes me to go into nothing.
To find peace in the ending.
Finite and not infinite.

Sometimes I wonder things I shouldn’t.
But I guess that makes me human.
A man.
Flawed, but one day saved.

Sometimes I miss things that would love to find me.
A leech that breaches the edges of my skin.
Sometimes it seems right to give in.
When life feels dull and doing right seems wrong.

Under lock and key is a door to another world.
One where everything I know is flipped.
Where right is left and left is right.
But somehow up is still up and down, down.

The door easily found and the key not hard to find.
To enter is to see differently.
But not necessarily morally.
Sometimes it feels better to be in the dark.

Sometimes I wonder if this is the place where I am meant to be.
Taking refuge in a world that is against what I believe.
Easy, wide, and short.
Quick rewards, and quick thrills.

One that let’s me do all the things my flesh wants to do.
Early expressions with neatly wrapped packages.
Sitting under the lock and decorated with the key.
Oh, God… What is wrong with me?

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better not to live forever.
When death finally takes me to go into nothing.
To find peace in the ending.
Finite and not infinite.

But this feeling usually goes away.
How long it lasts is different day to day.
Sometimes it hurts to stay in the fray.
Especially when you all feel so far away.

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Artwork By: Keighty Rae
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Where Did it Come From?

It enters into the storm and brings out what you never thought.
Arguing within yourself, knowing it can encapsulate more than feelings.
A single pull of the hand.
Grasping onto a thought that was never there, but here it is.

Reflecting on past choices.
Hearing words spoken that let you move on faster.
A gift given from thoughts that never were thought.
Singing at the top of my lungs a tune that was never written.

Help me sing the songs that are to come.
Let my head connect to my heart, and create.
More of a style than a metaphor.
A style that integrates a little of me and hopefully some of you.

Look at the landscape of the stars.
The ones that shine less bright than the others.
The ones that might be brighter if we all got a little closer.
Or maybe they really are dimmer, and all they need is a song to make them shine brighter.

Let’s take that thought and turn it into something worth while.
Like a cup of tea on a rainy day,
Or holding someone close when another had something bad to say.
Let’s take a walk and learn by the river, like what it means when we are together.

Staying in touch is harder than you think.
But please, let’s try even if we think we are weak.
For this thought that I did not think, will be there more than a week.
Take a deep breath and let me know, how far you are willing to go.

I’ll lend my voice if you lend me a tune.
I’ll lend you my hand to make it through.
Singing at the top of my lungs a tune that was never written.
Remembering a thought that I never had.

It is time to go and with that a goodbye.
A single eye that sees past the fly.
The fly on the wall that turns into a guy.
That has too many thoughts and songs, but no matter what he has to try.

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But Here We Are

“This business is small victories. In a sea, in a sea of misery, well I’ll take a small victory.”      ~American Opera

You said that it was okay to let down your guard down.
When you came into my life and broke me to the ground.
You told me that this train would take me home.
You said let’s just get on and go.

But time has shown that what you said is not what you meant.
What you said is the traffic light turning red whenever we approach.
Every time the train is about to go straight you hit the switch to change the path.
Going to the left instead of heading right.

It’s not okay to come in and say that everything will be okay.
If it means that every time you look into each others eyes it is a lie.
A time waiting to end it.
With feelings and logic being tossed to the side.

But here we are.
Distant and filled with snark.
And not the kind that equals a laugh.
But here we are.

Of course it is a two way street.
It is both a push and pull.
But at this point I think it is better to just go.
Go and head down different one ways.

You said that it was okay to let down your guard down.
When you came into my life and broke me to the ground.
You told me that this train would take me home.
You said let’s just get on and go…

Ring in a New Tune (Part 3 of 3)

It hurts like a tornado ripping through its specified target.
A misfortune of chaos, brightly throwing debris.
It is described as a cleanse.
But it feels like the end in my head.

It hurts like a hurricane tearing through the open coast.
Where locals are still in their boats,
Tourists have to change their plans.
And there is false hope when the eye shows its face.

Once more with feeling.
One more dream opened up and swallowed whole.
Once more with feeling.
When the land is not discernible from the sea.

Take me into the waves.
Take me to the edge of the Earth.
Where I can swim and maybe float.
Take me to the sea, so I may hear your voice in the waves.

Because God it hurts more than trying out self control.
It hurts because I lost your song.
That simple melody that defined me.
A tune unsung for too long.

I decided to fill up the oceans today.
One drop at a time.
One more salty distraction that leaks from my eyes.
I decided that your love is enough.

Because God it hurts more than listening to your voice.
It hurts because I lost your song.
That simple chord of hope.
A tune I have not sought after for some time.

Because God  it is time.
It is time to keep singing, whether I am on tune or not.
Because God I miss your waves.
Tossing and tearing right through me.

I would love to find the song.
Your song.
One with a melody I can follow.
Or one that is chaotic, but true.

And in those moments when the pain is unbearable.
And the hurt is deciding its own course.
There is a whisper that is near.
A voice that cuts through.

A song that is just for me.
One that is a sweet melody.
One that is chaotic and true.
One that is the center of me and you.

Because God it hurts more than the tree in the forest.
The one that tumbles and no one can hear it.
But I have your melody, I have your tune.
For your hope is enough, and your song is love renewed.

 

Ring in a New Tune (Part 2 of 3)

 

Please Lord, give me at least one more song to sing.
One more voice to get me through the day.
A melody that I can follow.
Or maybe even one that is chaotic but beautiful.

Take a chord and let it ring true.
A single sound that lights this day through and through.
Follow it up with the beat of a drum,
So I may have a reason to walk and know where I am from.

Please Lord, give me one more song.
Let it stretch high and take shape before you and me.
A melody that I can follow.
Or maybe even one that is chaotic but true.

My expectations of myself cloud my expectations of others.
A shroud that muffles the sound of an otherwise beautiful tone.
I look and see, but do I really?
Do I see what really needs to be seen.

You look at my brokenness,
With my broken strings and busted tom.
You look at me in my depression,
And somehow you pull out a truth that I never saw before.

Please Lord, give me one more song to sing.
Fix my broken instruments, while I try and play before you.
Help me make a melody that I can follow.
Or maybe one that is chaotic but doesn’t mislead.

Please Lord, I am only a man.
One that is made from flesh and blood.
Maker, I need a song to sing.
A song to show the world that the soul is what needs to be cleaned.

Ring in a New Tune (Part 1 of 3)

Marking the task at hand, by gracing you with nothing.
Looking for an answer in the unlikely.
Finding it in the familiar.
But passing it up to do a ride along instead of listening to the truth.

I am but a man that makes too many mistakes.
I fail to see things that are right in front of me.
Like friendships and good food.
Like love and sushi.

Marking a task that enters into my mind, and dances to the tune of my Maker.
Slowly turning and making noises with my mouth.
Then taking it a step further and doing my day to the tune of the Lord next to me.
But even then I hurt, and I lie about the mistakes I make.

I am but a man that denies too many times.
I fail to see the good right in front of my eyes.
Like my Maker and pasta.
Agape love and sushi.

Tie down the initial intent.
Focus on the song that is presented to you.
Is it enough to keep going?
Or are you going to end it before noon.

To strike a chord and play for a crowded room.
To practice with a voice and a tune.
An answer to prayer that wasn’t about forgiveness.
The answer is coming from a guitar and a spoon.

So I beg for another song.
One that is for me.
One that follows a melody,
Or one that is chaotic and follows me through.

I Tried and I Failed (Participation Trophy)

“I’ll fantasize of being manic and leaving us behind. In your eyes, you were the one that tried. Acceptance is what holds us here. Then you my dear are the one I fear tonight.  We’ll try this one more time.” ~Underoath

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He asks questions he thinks deserves to be answered.
Integrating compassion into entropy.
Taking shots at people who would be better off longing for more.
And lacking the maturity to ask questions that may make a semblance of sense.

She walks through life with a splint in her personality.
Happy and sad inhabit the same space.
Depression is a welcoming change of pace.
And lacking the steam to press on when she has a minuscule amount of joy.

Together they form the modern entitlement.
Equal parts apathy and laziness.
Hoping to be discovered from a singular occurrence.
Stepping to the left because it is easier than stepping to the right.

Or maybe the right seems like an easier choice.
I don’t think it matters to the modern consumer.
Where taking it easy looks like the way I am supposed to be.
Instead of failing and learning and not getting that participation trophy.

Not to diminish hard times and face to face lies.
Not to say we are not all a bit lowly.
But today it is easier to wait than try.
When they tell you that it is okay to be not okay.

When hope is diminished to a flame hidden.
And the lights from peoples eyes die so quickly.
The hopeless have better questions than the believer.
When we fight and die in the name of being tolerant to my fellow man.

Just go out and work hard.
Go out and love your fellow man.
Find out who your are and die fighting for it.
Instead of sitting down waiting to be discovered by lying over indulgent agencies..

I don’t want your participation trophy.
I want to earn my rewards, my accomplishments, my chance to have hope and be free.
I don’t care what you think of me.
I choose to carry on and I strive to love despite all the times I wanted to flee.

At least I tried.
Not for a trophy, or for an award.
But to be a better version of who I once was.
To do better and to do good.
To be someone that I always knew I could.