Category Archives: joy

Religious Experience (Fireworks)

“I’m just a manic depressive. Toting around my own crown. I’ve got a positive message. Sometimes I can’t get it out.”  ~Brand New


A religious experience through and through.
With the words of Brand New.
Jesse is singing, “I’m just a manic depressive.” 
Is the truth being told while I watch the fire overhead?

Fireworks explode.
The colors are shown.
I see the reds, whites, and blues,
But it is a different country that I pursue.

Is my world a contradiction that I call my own?
Or is it a search for a place that I think is my home?
A religious experience that isn’t necessarily one I knew.
The difference is, it is a mix of fireworks and Brand New.

I am looking for a color that is my own.
A game played between shades that I already know.
Experience dictating the feelings in my blood.
Spewing out like the sparks that start off small and spread out above my head.

These fireworks are memorizing the sky.
Sparking imagination.
Turning my eyes toward places that I never saw before.
While this music is playing in my head.

A gun shot is just as loud.
A boom like the fire against this night sky.
I am having a religious experience.
Even though I don’t have anyone’s hand.

“I’m just a manic depressive.” Those are the lyrics the song says.
The night a distraction, filled with lights, emotion, music, and religion.
So many colors light up the sky tonight.
So many memories colliding together.

When the music takes you and the scenery is beautiful.
It fills you up and takes you under its wing.
With a taste of wine and the breaking of the bread.
It is a religious experience that I just had. 


Junk Food and Gasoline

A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams. Your misery and hate kill us all. So paint it black and take it back. Let’s shout it loud and clear. Defiant to the end we hear the call…to carry on.  ~My Chemical Romance

Traveler Sunshine The Clouds Wilderness

Let me tell you a little story about myself.
A little story that shows how I think.
It is presented in lots of speak that doesn’t stream together.
But who cares, let’s have a look.

Traveling down a road he looks to the other side and decides to go off on his own.
A motivation brought on by the longing of something different.
Yet, when the road is back into view, he runs back to it with his tail between his legs.
A coward some might say, others might call it a tactical retreat.

This man takes  a few steps into the wild and sees a light.
One that defines and shines in the sky, both at night and during day.
When he is adrift it lights his way and when he hides it brings out what he wants to keep hidden.
An open book that is hidden well behind this tree.

Next, he sees himself in a parade.
Colors are everywhere, and then in the distance he sees it.
It looks like hope… hope in the form of a black shrouded figure running off into the crowd.
The parade is going swell, so he decides not to pursue the silent observer.

The floats fly high in the sky.
Held up by the dreams of those around him.
Their colors represent the wins he wishes he could have.
Also illuminating the sin that is always in his head.

One day the shrouded man came to his door.
He knocked and knocked, but he did not answer its call.
Glued to TV screens and gasoline…
Junk food and short bursts of ecstasy that mean nothing in the long run.

The knocking began coming at least once a week.
Always lasting for hours at a time and sometimes he answers the call.
A wave hits his chest when he does for the entirety of the worlds oceans crash into his apartment.
He drowns and lives again as the shrouded mans’ cloak disrobes to reveal the light that is always present.

The end of our tale is close and the climax may come.
The problem with that though is the story is continuous and I don’t know how it will end.
The only part I am sure about is that the other side will be there with open arms,
But what will need to be endured to get there is not in my control.

He sits still, the only thing moving is his mouth.
Singing a song about hope, love, death, pain, and life.
An eclectic mix of power pop, metal, and rock.
A blending of ideals, looking for a balance of learning about other views and solidifying his personal beliefs.

He sits and he sings.
He sings because it is worth it to him to understand the melodies that have been given to him.
He sits and he weeps.
He weeps for the chance to make a difference, or for happiness and joy that can sometimes ring true.

He is sitting their singing the songs of saints and sinners.
Singing the songs of pain from the unbelievers.
Singing the songs of hope and redemption.
He waits for the knock to come and the ocean to meet him once more.

I look and I see the story unfolding all around me.
Wondering if it is just me who sees their life in metaphorical agony?
Wondering if it is just me who examines their hopes and dreams in context of melodies?
All in all I see it as a dance between me, myself, and the Maker of I.



Will I See You on the Other Side?

And a God of redemption could break our routine.


Will I See You on the Other Side?

Two ways are laid in front of people. 
One is the way of righteousness.
One is the way of wickedness.
A gray light, a gray dark does not exist. 
Is it possible to be happy?
Is joy a myth?
Are blessings ever worth the fight?
Are blessings created by actions and choices?
The lasting moments of happiness begin with a choice.
A choice to dive into fire turning into water. 
To leap instead of doing nothing.
Learning to wait when immediate action will cause strife. 
Do we choose to sleep instead of think.
Do we include their ways into ours,
Or do we influence our ways into theirs. 
An attack from the left, and the right.
Deceptive pleasure that can seep into the marrow of our bones. 
Laughing at words that once disgusted the soul.
A compromise that should never be made. 
We must use the fire to burn it, and the water to wash it away. 
Something has been present since this world began. 
It is what the law of the universe has been based on.
It is also what can save your soul.
The beginning the end, the alpha and omega.
A word that has always been there.
A choice to accept it.
A word that is both fire and water.
The word that turns seeds into trees. 
When the heart is not in it.
When the mind over thinks.
That is when the seed dies.
That is when the roots refuse to grow deep.
But when it works there are defining characteristics.
Everyone knows what they are by the fruit on its branches.
The flowers that sprout.
The undying nature of worship versus pride.
There are defining choices in our world.
Do you choose a life that has an end that is not defended?
Or do you choose the life that gives us a defense?
A life built by fire and by water.
The wicked may seem like they are winning in this life.
They may seem joyous.
Do not be deceived. 
For in the end the choice they have made will lead them to a place not filled with love, faith, and happiness. 
This can be a sad tale.
Or it can be good.
It is well with my soul.
When I burn for Love and swim in Hope.
Go and choose.
This life or another.
Go and choose. 
And I hope to see you on the other side. 

Why is Good Forgotten?

~Why is Good Forgotten?~

This journey is not for the faint of heart.
These moments take precedent over the rest.
I have been given these moments to make things better.
One step to the right as my body goes left.

I am entrusted to give back and not just take.
To go out and understand that the world does not want to accept me.
To be a servant,
And give, give, give.

Do I distrust my distrust?
Am I profound for the sake of me?
Or do I proliferate my gifts for others?
Do I go and bring change, joy, and hope for the joyless, and hopeless?

Salt that lacks taste.
Seeds that get planted next to rocks.
Houses sinking in the sand.
Failing because you do not try.

I have work to do.
I have more to do in this life.
To serve and give to the poor.
And to know I was chosen to cultivate the trees to grow fruit.

Is it easy?
Will I love myself instead of others?
Is it easy?
No, opposing forces will make you want to serve self instead of giving back.

Good is not striven for anymore.
Pleasure is the new religion.
Power, greed, sex, and money are the gods of our world.
Lovers of self, lovers of the gray.

I would rather see it black and white.
To know where you stand.
Not to muddle or blur lines.
I would rather sacrifice than let it be easy and lose my soul.

Serving is not natural.
It is a choice.
Every day going out and giving back.
Instead of praising God then spitting in people’s faces.

Is this the world you wish to live in,
A place of pride;
A places of greed;
A place where being blind to the truth leads to slaughter?

This journey is not for the faint of heart.
But I would not have it any other way.
Helping those in need.
Understanding what it truly means to be alive.