Category Archives: choice

Hidden Sunny Demeanor

 

“You lose control when you hold too tight, and turn your head long enough to let it bite. ‘Cause faith left me staring at the ceiling through the night. It’s freaking me out.” ~Copeland

Child Torn Box Girl Eye Hiding Young Boy HoleLightning striking twice.
The tide rolling towards the Midwest.
Tornadoes on the coast.
And fires taking flight in the clouds.

An upside down way of thinking.
A class 2 comet approaching my brain.
Driving home the point that I am better than the parts that have been given to me.
And the through lines that exist exaggerate the need to make sure I make it through the day.

Hello, equal parts water and soul.
A skin and bones kind of problem.
Or maybe it is a dilemma?
Whatever it is, I’ve decided to pray above it.

The wind is picking up.
The howling overtaking my ears.
The need to get up and leave takes over.
And if I come back I hope that the screaming dissipates.

When I can’t figure out the solution and the frustration clouds my judgement,
I decide it is better to fight with anger than with rationale.
Of course that is not the course of action that pleases my biggest fans.
And it surely doesn’t please the Love that has given me the reason to be alive.

I need to accept I can’t be good at everything.
Or even accept that maybe there is something that I actually do well.
Whatever it is, I pray to grasp onto it,
Before the storms go haywire and my head implodes upon this desolate Earth.

The howling takes its toll and then maybe peace will come.
Remember Matt, they like you for you.
Don’t become someone you are not because you don’t feel good enough.
Feelings are fickle and love is a choice, not an over dramatic feeling fueled by Hollywood cameras.

Lightning striking twice.
The tide rolling towards the Midwest.
Tornadoes on the coast.
And fires taking flight to the clouds.

What a ride we’ve been on.
Diving into the clouds, and flying in the ocean.
I am on my knees praying for more than good relationships.
I’m praying that the one relationship that truly matters is strengthened.
For He is what supplies my hidden sunny demeanor.

Advertisements

What is in a Smile?

DSC_0071

There is something going on.
There is a muscle in my cheek that hurts.
I keep on smiling for no apparent reason,
But the problem is that I know exactly why.

My beaming comes and doesn’t end.
A simple hello, a song on the radio.
My head tuning into an emotion that isn’t recognized by my cheeks.
Thank God for the expression spreading across my face; with the hope that it brings.

I’m not used to this feeling.
A sparkle of sunlight hitting the edges of my lips.
Cracking open a smile that spreads to my chest.
Washing away the frost that usually makes its home on my heart.

Because I never learned how to sustain this feeling.
The one that says its okay to be happy.
Always hoping the day would come where I could look for the other side.
Where God shines down and I realize where the truth lies.

I have a  giddy look upon my face.
I look like a child entering into a candy store for the first time.
The colors spreading beyond the inner child.
Exposing the faults that have been lingering for a while now.

A simple phone call.
A text that is unexpected.
I can’t stop smiling.
A simple thought about a certain thing brings on this disease.

A disease that I never wish to be rid of.
One that is brought on by thankfulness.
One that is given through grace, hope, and a simple hello.
“Hey.” Is all that needs to be said.
And I answer that with a muscle that is not used to being used.

There is something going on.
There is a muscle in my cheek that hurts.
I keep on smiling for no apparent reason,
But the problem is that I know exactly why.

And I gotta say, I’m damn sure I never want it to end.

Where Did it Come From?

It enters into the storm and brings out what you never thought.
Arguing within yourself, knowing it can encapsulate more than feelings.
A single pull of the hand.
Grasping onto a thought that was never there, but here it is.

Reflecting on past choices.
Hearing words spoken that let you move on faster.
A gift given from thoughts that never were thought.
Singing at the top of my lungs a tune that was never written.

Help me sing the songs that are to come.
Let my head connect to my heart, and create.
More of a style than a metaphor.
A style that integrates a little of me and hopefully some of you.

Look at the landscape of the stars.
The ones that shine less bright than the others.
The ones that might be brighter if we all got a little closer.
Or maybe they really are dimmer, and all they need is a song to make them shine brighter.

Let’s take that thought and turn it into something worth while.
Like a cup of tea on a rainy day,
Or holding someone close when another had something bad to say.
Let’s take a walk and learn by the river, like what it means when we are together.

Staying in touch is harder than you think.
But please, let’s try even if we think we are weak.
For this thought that I did not think, will be there more than a week.
Take a deep breath and let me know, how far you are willing to go.

I’ll lend my voice if you lend me a tune.
I’ll lend you my hand to make it through.
Singing at the top of my lungs a tune that was never written.
Remembering a thought that I never had.

It is time to go and with that a goodbye.
A single eye that sees past the fly.
The fly on the wall that turns into a guy.
That has too many thoughts and songs, but no matter what he has to try.

download

Slow Down and Take a Deep Breath

“Future gardens from all this rain
Future flowers from present pain
We’re bound together and our lives are bound to change
You don’t know how beautiful you are. ”     ~Jon Foreman

Slow Down!

Activating prior knowledge to understand the things running in your head.
Damaging the psyche of your soul,
By displaying negative thoughts throughout your heart.
And despising what is underneath because you feel it is not good enough.

It’s interesting to point out that you make a mistake and then fix it,
But for some reason it just takes you back to a mistake further in your past.
I wish that you can overcome the mistakes that plague you,
To move forward and realize you are worth more than you know.

Take it into account that we are all human and are far from perfect.
We make mistakes and we pass it onto ourselves.
Time and time again we learn to answer questions we already know the answers, too.
But lessons that good, deserve to be learned time and time again.

Slow down and take a breath.
Put into perspective what is happening and what you are worth.
Don’t let your failures persuade you from who you really are.
Slow down and take a breath.
And remember that you have so many around you who care more than you know.

Easily Offended

See, opinions are easier to swallow than facts. The grays instead of the whites and the blacks. If you shoot it too straight it won’t come back. We’re selling the news.  ~Switchfoot

Waaah!

He’s on track for something beautiful.
A letdown that is described as genius.
Taking out those that offended him today.
But you know… his feelings were hurt because you glanced his way…
So it is okay.

Trudging around and taking names.
Knowing he is part of the group that will live to complain another day.
Thank God a joke was made I have something to get angry at.
Crap, everyone is being so nice, they must be hiding something… time to get upset.

Jumping to conclusions before asking questions.
Knowing answers before letting anyone speak.
This is the way of life for a lot of those around me.
The golden age of technology muddled by disarray.

When the facts are pushed to the side for an answer based on feelings.
Or being tolerant by breaking the others head.
Using the heart to justify all walks of life.
And having no limit on what is considered right.

But you know it is okay.
I’ll keep on living anyway.
Well maybe not,
If they deem my life not to be right…

You know what?
I’ll go on and live despite what they say.
Because I have a right to seek after what I think is right.
Even if it flies into the faces of the easily offended and trite.

 

 

 

Step One…Choose

“Take me up, seal the door. I don’t want to march here anymore. I realize that this line is dead, so I’ll follow you instead.”  ~Twenty One Pilots

shutterstock_228939076-2-1024x683

It begins with an action.
It ends with a thought.
The least of all it could be switched up.
Maybe it would lead to better outcomes.
Quick glances and forgotten smiles pass our lips.
Close and not together.
And the answer could be in either the thought or the action.
Depending on which comes first.
It begins with a smile.
It ends with confusion.
Do we cast ourselves with the net,
Or do we go out and try and swim?
The grandeur that is life is not as big as we think.
It is small and the connections are strong.
And as the start approaches, lives may be changed.
Minds molded by singular events that may not seem noteworthy.
These minuscule events combine into  fleshed out ideas.
These ideas are used for good or for bad.
Maybe there is a gray area thrown in their for kicks and giggles.
But we stand and we fall and we get back up again…most of us.
We could divulge into thoughts with no actions to be seen.
But we are all still in a band.
All of us have a place, but some choose not to play.
And I say, play whether or not it sounds correct.
It is better to play than to sit their wondering if it is okay.
We all need each other.
And even if the awkward is the normal for your life today,
Go forth and play anyway.
A glance and a smile doesn’t seem so bad.
But I will tell you it all comes down to context.
I choose to play the game, the note…
Whether it is correct or not.
I begin everyday with a thought.
While other days it is with an action.
Roll over, open eyes, and continue breathing.
Press forward and pray that God will show you the way.
Step One…choose.

 

Overflowing

Your growing imagination preparing you for what your heart requires to say.
~Haste the Day

~Overflowing~

Equal parts fiction and reality.
I look through these eyes and I see a world full of possibilities.
A cynic walking through a field full of flowers.
An optimist running through a war-torn field.

It is an understanding that what we have in this life is not the end.
I want more than what I can carry.
I need more than this half full or half empty cup.
I wish to be overfilled, so I can give back.

It is necessary for me to lend a helping hand.
My heart wouldn’t be able to take it if I didn’t try.
The struggle is between my sense of reality and the desire to please everybody.
It is a blessing and a curse.

I don’t do enough for myself.
I look past my own thoughts and feelings.
I want more for everyone else that I am blind to me.
God please let me e able to see me.

On the other hand I am better.
I have struggled and I have won.
Not by my own hand, but by God’s.
This life is not my own, it was brought to me by the One who made me.

I wish to be overflowing.
Overflowing for you.
Overflowing for myself.
Please take my hand and let me be the better version of me.