Please Listen

“I wanna know what it’s like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent.”  ~Motion City Soundtrack

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I actually decided to die today.
"Please don't be so dramatic."
"You have so much to live for"
People please, you are so unaware of what I mean. 

A tear down and a build up.
A knowledge that what I was doing is not working anymore.
I decided to die today.
And I believe it will be a very good day.

"Your life is worth it don't do it!" They say.
But I don't think you are listening to what I am saying.
Because I decided to die today.
So let me have this one.

To spell it out for you... I decided to die today.
A death to the life that never treated me well.
One that is changed into a new way of thinking.
Going about temptation with a new form.

Not one full of tunnel vision blockers.
Not one full of disarray. 
But one that justifies and glorifies the hope that's inside.
Because if I don't die today, I will never learn to be alive.
I will never learn how to be okay.
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