When You Realize

“If you could let the pain of the past go, of your soul. None of this is in your control.” ~Switchfoot 
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My soul is thirsty and my heart has been broken.
I am crying out to all the things that I believe will make me whole.
The bottle and the strength of self,
The songs of those not inspired by the True Love.

My soul is thirsty and my heart is broken.
I am fine in the mornings and then it hits as I wake.
A storm eating into the very being of me.
Knowing I am hurt a bit more than the thing that hurt me.

When you put your whole heart into something without God it will not last.
When you try and do it by yourself it will fall apart.
When the thing you are next to is being held onto a little to tight.
When you realize you let your past dictate the way you respond to the present.

All these realizations come in waves.
Yet here I stand still trying to do it on my own.
I need to relinquish control because none of this is actually mine to conduct.
I need to let the pain of my past go away and apply it to the next beauty that comes my way.

For I screwed up.
I was the problem.
I held tight.
Instead of letting myself be guided by the light.

My soul is thirsty and my heart broken.
It seems to be getting better everyday.
I am sorry to say that even Nintendo is not letting me stay happy today.
I need something more and a guiding hand from the One who gave it all.

This world will not do,  especially when it feels I am running from you.
Wondering if they were even ready?
Or if it was completely me?
Because that is my perspective all the way.

Get out.
Get out and leave my head.
Get out and let me raise my hand to thee.
Get out and let me see through eyes that can become clean.

My soul is thirsty and my heart is broken.
Hurting from the possibility that is now lost.
I must look to the Word that was spoken.
For this word is alive and breathing life back into my tired and thirsty soul.

In the end it was short.
But when you believed you have found it…
When you believed your hope was justified.
It hurts like it was a star burning out right before it could be truly bright.

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