What I was Thinking

“Love uses the pain to drill the holes, that irrigate our dry and thirsty souls.”

                                                                                              ~Tim Foreman

What I was Thinking

What was I thinking?
I wasn’t now was I?
My mind has seen the longing my heart was supposed to have.

Do I believe in more than what I see?
If I do not, then what was I thinking?

I walk into caves where I do not belong.
I trust more in sinners than most who believe.
For at least they understand and have faith in what they say.

Why do those who believe never show it to those who need to be shown?
They sit at home and wait for something to happen instead of waking up.
What are they thinking?

I know I should keep on thinking.
Even if it is a question or a praise.

Father please forgive my unbelief.
Father help me stand out and go into the caves.
To cause a ripple effect to travel like a Mass Effect. 

I need to trek to the places where I do no belong. 
To show the truth to others.
Instead of sitting down and refusing to go out and share.

I may die in the caves. 
I may find pain.
I welcome the challenge because pain breeds life in my lungs whether I live or die. 

I am learning to find love in the pain.
I am finding hope in faith.
I am finding peace in death.

My heart is beginning to realize that what I see can lead me astray.
My faith is when I am awake. 
For when I am awake I am alert to the unseen truth.

I base my faith on evidence shown to me daily.
It is more than a feeling.
It is more than sitting and doing nothing.

My faith is based off the love that is being awake.
So why don’t you wake up and move?
Wake up and examine what you were thinking.
Wake up and do what you are meant to do.
Wake up and service the kinks in the folly that make it to the end.
For in the end no one may become life again. 

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