3 A.M. Comes to Fast

“Jesus, Jesus, there’s something about your name. 
Master, savior, Jesus… 
I’ve been dirtier than you wanna know.
I’ve left earlier than you’ll ever know. Jesus, Jesus.”
                                                 ~The Almost

“Part of a season dream I have created”

3 A.M. Comes to Fast

I feel dirty, messed up, and alone.
Part of a seasonal dream I have created. 
An artificial feeling determined by mislead dreams.
An awakening in my soul that is tempered by smoke and rust. 

I feel dirty, messed up, and alone.
Living in a world determined by status and blood.
Looking out for the ones that I find most endearing.
These people who are my friends by a random number generator or because I share blood.

I feel dirty, messed up, and alone.
Knowing one day that I am going to die.
And nobody can stop this fact.
Am I ready for the inevitable?

I feel dirty, messed up, and alone.
My candle flickers in the light, and forgets to shine in the dark.
My city on the hill has fallen down tonight.
It has left the foundation behind with the fountain still inside.

I feel dirty, messed up, and alone.
Looking out for my own.
Looking out for me and my home.
I feel dirty messed up and alone.

There is a conclusion in here somewhere.
There is an ending to behold.
There is a moment to distinguish this shadow and return to flame.
Until then the conclusion must write itself.

Without my influence.
Without my doubts and fears.
To be separate from my creepy crawling skin.
To realize that maybe my soul can be washed clean. 

I am parting ways just to die alone.
Because I do not realize I do not need to walk far to be atoned.
I must admit to the bad choices I have made.
And go on and remember why I stayed.

I feel dirty, messed up, and alone.
I am looking for a conclusion to the distinguished questions.
I am learning what it means to be alive.
I am trying to remember why I deserve love.
I am looking for a conclusion to why I cannot sleep tonight.
For 3 A.M. comes to fast. 

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