“Been fighting things that I can’t see in
Like voices coming from the inside of me and
Like doing things I find hard to believe in
Am I myself or am I dreaming?
I’ve been awake for an hour or so
Checking for a pulse but I just don’t know
Am I a man when I feel like a ghost?
The stranger in the mirror is wearing my clothes
No I’m not alrightI know that I’m not right
A steering wheel don’t mean you can drive
A warm body don’t mean I’m alive
No I’m not alright
I know that I’m not right
Feels like I travel but I never arrive
I want to thrive not just survive”
~The Earth Can Cave In~
I can feel it, the pain of the morning when the Earth swallows you whole.
The air becomes thick, and your breath cannot finish.
I can see the world collapsing and the people around me shouting my name.
The problem is I cannot hear them, for the Earth is swallowing me whole.
It is the fire that burns away all possessions that mean anything.
The love and the good all get swept away.
The Earth consumes the air and the fire burns what is left.
And there I am in the middle as the rest of the world watches me die.
My world, my Earth, my life is caving in and I do not think I can be saved.
The answer may be to call out, but I have no voice to do so.
Maybe I can get a whisper out?
Maybe the hiss of the expelling air will alert those watching that I am dying?
I do not think it is possible that a single man could die and it not be noticed.
But I see it happen every day.
The world collapses they die, and nobody knows.
They were born and lived for nothing and died in the same way.
The feelings of self-loathing, the feelings of denial.
The work of a man with a fictitious point of view.
I can be the man described above.
My world may crash and burn.
My world has, but from the ashes I rose like the phoenix for I have a reason to live.
Even though those people did not notice my death, even if they called my name,
I do not care.
Even though the thoughts inside my head were impure,
I ended up resurrected and atoned.
I can feel it.
Another wave of bile and lies.
Do I take a deep breath and close my eyes?
Or do I take what I have learned and fight this time.
It is not for you to decide.